Canning Like a Mofo

There are many great things about growing your own food in the summer. The first on that list for me is that I don't actually do the growing. Generally I have a brown thumb, as in, when you look at my thumb it is brown and also when I plant things they tend to turn the same color.

For example, during my unfortunate stint living in Maryland when everything around me and in my life was dying and falling apart, I attempted two feeble vegetable gardens. One was next to the garage which it is of note to say: was also falling apart. The other garden was under the Japanese maple which is one of the few things I miss about that house. These gardens were clearly constructed for flowers or non-edible plants and were certainly not raised beds or anything, were weed ridden and probably had some used hypodermic needles in there. But I hand tilled the earth, removing empty Frito bag litter, put some seeds in, and never watered more than once or twice. And regardless, I got *some* yield. There was quite a bit of kale actually. The rest just kind of languished. But that was wet and wild Maryland where even if you don't water something will grow.

I now live in a place where if you don't have a tub full of body butter to jump into every morning, you will undoubtedly turn into the crypt keeper within a year. I assume the same goes for vegetables and fruits. But again, this is an assumption I have never had the pleasure of enduring. MJ's Dad has a green thumb.

Part of the deal with this green thumb is that if he grows it, I cook it, use it in salads or "can" it. At the beginning of growing season, which at 7000 feet or so is painfully short, I thought to myself there is no way that we will even have close to enough food to can anything. Phew, got outta that one. I can eat the 30 tomatoes or so and freeze some green beans. Done and off to read, shop, write, take yoga or anything with my Sunday that doesn't involve someone's God or homemaking. Ha! Except ok,I will make a salad or two...

And then he watered. And put interesting organic things in the water which I believe may have included fish poop. Yep, fish poop. They sell it at Home Depot or something if you don't believe me!







The next thing you know....I couldn't keep up. There were over 80 tomatoes alone on the window sill ripening. We had to put them there because, you see, up here we run out of season and vine ripening becomes just not an option.

So one day, he comes home with a pressure cooker and Ball mason jars. I am like, what the hell is that and what do you expect me to do with it? I just got my nails did AND I do not own an apron. (Interesting point of fact, he DOES own an apron.) Long story short, we put the thing together and stared at it for awhile with the typical fear expression of those scared of kitchen equipment disfigurement. Fortunately the thing came with instructions for how to can as well. And we had lemons. The lemons are the most important part of this yarn I am spinning because the lemons saved my canning experience.

As it turns out, you use lemon juice (we used real organic fresh squeezed like the food snobs we are) to can tomatoes at home. I squeezed so much lemon my hands may have been bleached. So much for that brown thumb. But I had squeezed too much lemon and we had extra. This meant lemonade. And further we had BOURBON!!

Watching a pressure cooker build just that while being overly protective of your toddler coming into the kitchen is so much more fun when you have hard lemonade. And even more so when you coax your male partner into a red apron. Unfortunately there are no pictures of that!

And now, when we can, we always have a fresh cocktail and we always make it a family event. 17 quarts of tomatoes and 18 pints of his and baby's (mild) and hers (hot) salsa! Not too bad for the Rockies...

Speaking of Mofo's: mother nature is good.

Rainshiny Day's Hard Lemonade Recipe:

1/2 cup freshly squeezed organic lemon juice
1/3 cup agave or unrefined sugar of choice
3 cups fresh mint infused water or soda water
1/3 (or more) cup bourbon of choice
crushed ice
sliced lemons and mint sprigs for garnish

* I like to serve these in a Moscow Mule Mug for some reason.